Happy Sunday, everyone!
I’ve been thinking a lot about people and relationships, trying to figure out a way to tie it in with the book I’m currently reading. I realized though, that the beauty of a blog is being able to share your thoughts without someone dictating what or how you write. To that extent, I’ve decided to go on a rangent, a cross between a rant and a tangent! =P
Life is about expectations. Our parents expect us to be successful and give them grandkids, we expect our friends to be honest with us, we have have expectations from people we haven’t even met. Tangled up with expectation is having faith in people, being hopeful for the future, and being optimistic about life in general. The flip side is that these expectations can be crippling for those on the receiving end; it can be a lot of pressure to live up to someone else’s ideal.
Relationships, of any kind, are full of expectations – loyalty, honesty, solidarity, monogamy, children. We fall for people and assume they will have the same notions we do when it comes to things like family and amount of partners, because we expect them to follow the norm even when we desperately hope they’re exceptional. Sometimes people freak out when you mention children early on or when you suggest the idea of having multiple partners. I understand that monogamy works for some people, but it doesn’t work for everyone and condemning it just because it breaks from an established pattern of dating is limiting.
I, for one, believe it’s possible to love someone, while still being involved with and loving other partners. I know it sounds like a hippy thing to say, but it’s possible to have more than one meaningful relationship at once. Most people don’t see it that way though, and they tend to freak out if you mention anything serious or having to do emotions before an allotted amount of time has passed. It’s like we’re all programmed with a timeline of when it’s acceptable to share your feelings without being considered crazy. To me though, that just means that you spend more time worrying about when you feel things, than actually enjoying the feeling. I’d rather enjoy it when it’s there and remember it fondly when it’s not. Still sounding like a hippy, I know.
We expect people to play it cool, to play their cards close to their chest (is that how that saying goes?), but then we’re all wondering what this or that comment means, why the other person did or didn’t do something. Expectations can propel us to bigger and better things, within our relationships and outside of them too, but they can also be exhausting. I’m the type to put all my cards on the table, which might explain why I’m terrible at card games! Seriously though, I think being honest from the beginning about wanting a family or being terrified of children, the kind of relationships we’re looking for, being into Star Wars vs. Star Trek. It’s important to be on the same page and talking about it doesn’t have to mean you’re planning the wedding. It just means that if things actually do get serious you both know where you stand.
At least, that’s my opinion on it all. What do you think, readers? Monogamy or polygamy? Talking about it or waiting until it’s serious to discuss things? Let me know in the comments below!
I’m leaving tomorrow for a mini vacation and I’m not sure whether I’ll have internet access. So, I’m taking a little leave of absence from the blog and I’ll be back on Thursday, hopefully with pictures and stories about what I did!
Stay golden, readers. Until next time!