Alphabet Soup: O is for Orgasm

This segment titled Alphabet Soup: The alphabet according to someone with very little shame and a lot of time on her hands was inspired by blogger Mandy Wallace and the Writers of Kern A to Z challenge. Enjoy!

It’s finally Friday, y’all! I’m up at indecent hours of the morning like an actual person, what’s that all about?! Work last night was a dud of the biggest kind. We were meant to work 7 hours and instead worked only 3. All I wanted afterwards was a glass of wine and an orgasm.

O is for Orgasm

Orgasms, especially female ones, have this almost mythical quality within sex. How to achieve them, how to give them to other people, is sex good without them. These are questions that people ask themselves and others all the time. And, it’s understandable. We all have insecurities when it comes to sex and the orgasm is touted as the be all, end all of sexual encounters. The idea is that if there wasn’t an orgasm something failed.

I love sex and I love orgasms, but not having one doesn’t automatically mean it was bad sex for me. Sometimes I’ve been drinking and I’m dehydrated or he gets overly excited and goes off before either of us wanted him to. These things happen. They don’t, however, change the experience for me. I’ve had great sex that has ended without an orgasm and I’m okay with that. I’ve never felt like I’m going without, unless it’s a partner who doesn’t even try. Then he can go fuck himself. Literally. Because I won’t ever again.

There’s pleasure in giving and receiving pleasure. Obvious as it sounds. In savoring that moment when your body is alive and electricity is coursing through it. That pocket in time where you’re locked in place with someone else and the rest of the world takes a back seat. The entire world, with its worries and its sorrows and its anger, moves to the back burner as you suck and fuck and kiss your way through someone else.

Sex for me is always such an experience. That moment when kissing changes and you both feel that new intent. Getting to know a new partner, their little sexual quirks. The first seconds of penetration when your entire being gathers at that meeting point. The moving around, the changes, the surprises, the noise. Sex is an experience that is unparalleled for me. And it doesn’t become less if I don’t orgasm.

If sex is a sundae, then the orgasm is the cherry on top. If my ice cream guy leaves the cherry off, but gives me extra scoops of ice cream, I’m pretty much set. For everything else, there’s Visa. And by Visa, I mean vibrators.


Is the cherry on top essential in your sundae? Let me know in the comments below!

Keep it frosty, readers.

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