On Realizations and First Days

Hello, readers!

Monday rolls around again, perfectly symmetrical. Like a geometric representation of our lives. Except our lives are anything but symmetrical and, really, it’s just mocking us. It’s no wonder everyone hates Mondays.

Does it ever happen to you guys, that you know something is coming up, but you can’t really accept it until it’s right there in your face? That’s how I feel about grad school. I’ve been mentally preparing myself for it, slowly figuring out new patterns and making my peace with losing 3/4 of my social life. And yet, none of it had felt quite real. Until today. When I woke up at 6 am (in a sad attempt to start getting my body acclimated to its new schedule) and realized I have to start getting my shit ready for tomorrow.

It’s happening, you guys. This is not a drill.

And I’m not going to tell you I’m not nervous enough that I feel like I could throw up. But I’m also not going to deny it… The truth is I’m freaking out a little bit, part nerves, part fear, all of it mixed with excitement. And that’s where it all gets better, because I’m so excited, you guys!

At some point my BA became what felt like a series of repetitive motions, a complex pattern that was still a pattern nonetheless and left me feeling like a hamster running around in a wheel that went nowhere. I learned to love it again, towards the end, but I had to go into another field to get some perspective. Public Health Education, which is what my Masters degree will be in, is a completely new world for me. I can feel the challenge building and I’m thrilled, like taking a step into the unknown.

I know I’m not the only one with a first day this week, maybe yours is in two weeks or a month. Enjoy what’s left because what’s coming isn’t easy. But also enjoy that moment of ‘holy shit it’s happening”! These beginnings are such a big part of life, I think. We often let the fear and nervousness get the best of us and they become nothing more than days full of stress and anxiety. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Be mindful of all you can accomplish because of it. And, whatever else you do, enjoy it.

Until next time, readers!


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