Open Water

Hello, readers.

It’s Friday. In case you didn’t know. Silly, because people forget it’s Monday, but they never forget it’s Friday. So, scratch that.

I wasn’t sure what to watch tonight so I ended up picking a movie at random from the Gilmore Girl list. Open Water it is. Or was. Which brings me to, what the hell? I don’t know what I was expecting, but that wasn’t it.

Let’s start with the fact that there’s a weird thing happening with the sound at the beginning. Like, it has specific sounds, but it’s lacking all the static background noise we don’t notice which means there’s a sort of weird silence happening. It’s insanely disturbing. Maybe it’s just me, but man what a weird feeling. My next whoa moment came when the protagonists were suddenly completely naked. I don’t have issue with the nudity because whatever, it’s more that out of nowhere there are tits and pubes in your face. Yeah, okay.

As they were floating around I kept thinking about this company and how they were going to get sued. They’d lose everything, their reputation would be shattered. I imagined all the charges they’d be faced with because hello, you left two people out in the middle of the ocean. Who does that?! Apparently, it happens though because this movie was loosely based on a true story. In 1998 a couple went diving in Australia and the boat departed before they were able to get back on board. It wasn’t until two days later that people noticed they were missing, but by then it was too late and they were never found.

I kept expecting them both to survive and go on to sue the pants off everyone. Instead they both died. It’s a gruesome movie in the weirdest way. Watching a wife floating around with her husband’s corpse, kissing it before letting it drift off. Seeing his body get pulled down by sharks. Looking on as she gets rid of her gear and goes under. She watched her husband die and then killed herself, right as the search party goes out. That’s some messed up shit right there.

The acting is pretty bad and there are shots that really should’ve been reconsidered, but the movie packs a punch. And the last 10-15 minutes were intense. I’d planned on watching the sequel, but I think I might skip it. One couple floating around in the vast nothingness of the ocean is really all you need.

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Try not to drown, readers. Until next time!

The Faculty

Hello, readers.

The days are still gray here in the tropics. That coupled with not feeling too well has led to a day of movies and nothing but movies. Surprisingly (or not at all), none of them have been on the list of movies from the Gilmore Girls list. Still, I thought I’d share my favorite of the day.

There’s nothing quite like having the whole school overtaken by alien parasites to put things in perspective. I’d never watched The Faculty before, but it seemed like one of those weird, bad movies that you shouldn’t pass up. And I’m definitely glad I didn’t. What’s not to love about an unassuming southern belle/alien queen possessing people so she can fit in. High school, amirite? Only in a terrible alien movie starring high school kids would you have people doing drugs as a parasite detection system. Gotta love it.

The Faculty is like The Breakfast Club, if they hadn’t been in detention and had instead been trying to keep the world from being overtaken by water loving aliens. So, you know, nothing alike, except maybe a little bit. They’ve got all the archetypes down – the jock, the snobby girl, the geek, the screw up, the crazy one –  plus the new girl who turned out to be the mastermind behind the whole attack so The Breakfast Club was probably better off without her. Fuckin’ new kids man, they’re either shitty or aliens.giphy1

Let me tell you. There are tentacles, things that burrow under your skin, disintegrating bodies – basically it’s all SciFi goodness. Plus you’ve got a young and geeky Elijah Wood saving the town, Josh Hartnett as a drug dealing bad boy, and Penelope Cruz as a hot nurse just for kicks. The Faculty has got it all and more. Okay, so maybe it doesn’t have it all. In fact, it’s terrible. But in the best way possible! Probably my favorite type of movie to watch.

Do yourself a favor, get yourself some popcorn, and couch potato to it. You might regret it, you might not. I don’t know your life.

Try not to get possessed by aliens, readers. Until next time.

Grease Live!

Hello, readers.

It’s late Friday night, that weird blurry time of alcohol and softcorn porn on HBO. I’m heartily hoping you guys are having a more memorable night than I am. If so come tell me about it. Let me live vicariously through you. And also drain all your life energy while I’m at it…..

I’ve just finished watching Grease Live! because that’s my life today, you know? The Gilmore Girls have Grease on their list, so I decided to watch the live version in its place. And, you know what? I didn’t hate it. The movie is nearly two hours long, which was a bit draining, but overall it’s not terrible.

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The cast features Aaron Tveit as Zucko and Juliann Hough as Sandy. You’ve got people like Keke Palmer, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Vanessa Hudgens, who plays a really interesting Rizzo. Carlos Peña, formerly Carlos on Nickelodeon’s Big Time Rush, playing Kenickie. A wild Joe Jonas appears out of nowhere, as do Mario López and Jessie J. Perhaps the coolest appearances though were Didi Conn and Barry Pearl, who played Frenchy and Doody respectively in the original movie.

They added a couple of new musical numbers and changed a few things, but for the most part were very faithful to the movie which was cool to watch. A bit like a prolonged sing along where you don’t always sing. Overall though, it was alright. I’m always hesitant to watch live action movies because they have so much potential to be awful. This one, while it had things that bugged me, managed to pull itself off with a lot of style. So, that’s something.

Have a good night, readers. Until next time!

The Little Rascals

Happy Friday, readers!

In an effort to shake off my terrible mood, I’ve spent the day tidying, crocheting, and generally doing things that make me feel better about the world. My room is now tidier, which is not to say tidy, but you’ve got to start somewhere! I’ve also managed to get quite a bit ahead in my attempts to make a blanket. It’s almost done, I think, and I’m really excited to finish it and be able to use it.

I decided to watch The Little Rascals tonight and OH MY GOD. I’d forgotten how great this movie is! I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record with these movies, but bear with me. I hadn’t seen The Little Rascals in years, so I’d honestly forgotten most of what happens. Except that scene with the duet between Darla and Waldo, which pops into my head quite often for some reason.

Can we stop for a second and talk about all the people that make an appearance in this movie? The Olsen twins are there having a slumber party with Darla and complaining about boys. Whoopi Goldberg is Buckwheat’s mom.  Reba is the famous race car driver who gives them the trophy and prize money after they win the race. Raven Symone pops up in the end when girls are finally allowed in the clubhouse. A young and less orange Donald Trump makes an appearance in the end credits, stealing popcorn from the lady next to him. I didn’t know who most of these people were when I was a kid, so it’s cool to watch it now and be able to recognize them.

It really is such a fun movie. It’s kids doing what kids do best, which is usually thinking that they’re more mature than they are. That exchange when Waldo and Darla first meet is priceless.

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Plus I love Spanky’s little monologue at the end, wondering if they’d let down the founding fathers by fraternizing with girls. Then concluding, “I guess things just have to change sometimes.” And they do, you know? Sometimes things have to change, but that doesn’t have to be bad necessarily. I think they found that out, which is cool. I’m still finding it out, but that’s ok. You have to let other people into the club at some point.

Have a good one, readers. Until next time!

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

It’s Friday night, readers!

I’ve been re-watching the Gilmore Girls series for the past few weeks and thoroughly enjoying myself, to be perfectly honest. It’s funny. It’s witty. It’s sarcastic and fast paced. I definitely recommend you check it out, if you haven’t! Anyway, I’ve always loved their Friday Night Movies. The idea of binging on candy and snacks while watching a few movies feels incredibly satisfying. So, I’ve decided to start my own Friday night movies. At least the movie side of things, if I try to match the Lorelais bite for bite I’ll die and also go broke.

The wife and I kicked off the Friday Night Movie series with a classic! Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!

“What is this, Wonka? Some kind of fun house?!”

“Why? Having fun?”

I was obsessed with this movie when I was a kid, I used to watch it unnecessarily often. It’s been a few years since I’d re-watched it though and let me tell you there was so much I’d forgotten about it. Like, hey, how ‘bout that chicken decapitation, huh? Wasn’t that something? I’d forgotten how depressing Charlie’s life was and his whole special snowflake attitude towards life. I’d forgotten how creepy this movie was! Wonka’s madness is pretty epic, but the whole movie is riddled with strangeness. In the beginning there’s a guy who comes up to Charlie, toting a cart with knives casually dangling from it. This guy tells Charlie no one goes into the Factory, and no one comes out. Cheerful, right?

There was a sassy computer. Oompa Loompas singing judgmental songs. People panicking in a small room because they didn’t fit, although they would’ve if they’d just chilled out. It was the door from Titanic all over again. An old man dancing with a nightgown that left perilously little to the imagination.

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*Sigh* Good times were had by all tonight. Hope your nights were just as good.

Until next time, readers!

New Things Are New

Hello, hello readers!

I’ve pulled another disappearing act on you guys, proclaim me Houdini and call it a day. I’m sorry though. Life, you know? Anyway, I return to you bearing tidings and good news! Or just news in general. I’m going to share them in a handy little list, because who doesn’t like lists? A lot of people actually.

1. The students at my university have declared a 72 hour strike following a general assembly today. Aside from al the things that might mean politically and how it might affect the semester, right now it means that I have 2 weeks free. We have spring break scheduled for next week. In light of these events, I’ve decided to have myself a little reading marathon this weekend. Maybe another 24 in 48 type of marathon or perhaps just a 24 hour reading binge. Maybe I’ll just pick a set amount of books for the weekend. The possibilities are endless! Still, that’s happening this weekend, so stay tuned!

2. I mentioned Short Story Thursdays in my last post, while sharing a music video. Essentially, SST sends out an email every Thursday with a short story about a forgotten author, accompanied with some colorful commentary by the guy who runs the organization. He’s the drummer in the music video, it all comes around. Circle of life, baby. Anyway…. I’m thinking of writing a a post about each story as it comes out. This means a post will be coming out on Thursdays with my take on that week’s story. If you want to subscribe to the emails (and you really should!), just send a message to shutyourlazymouthandread@shortstorythursdays.com. It’s that simple.

3. Speaking of new additions, I’m also coming up with something for Fridays. As of two weeks ago we ended the Alphabet Soup series, so I figured something new was in order for Fridays. I’ve been (re)watching Gilmore Girls for the millionth time and remembering how much I’ve always loved the concept of their Friday Night Movies – an indecent amount of snacks, take out, and a bunch of movies. With that in mind, I’ve decided to start a Friday Night Movie series! I’m still working out a few things with it or with how I want to organize it rather. So, the first post might go up this week or at the very latest the next.

4. I’ve FINALLY picked a book for Arkansas! Which means sometime next week I’ll be returning to my running reading challenge – Around the World in 250 Books. #Excitement

5. This isn’t news, but I think you guys are awesome. You’re probably fun and funny and all sorts of other adjectives. I’m happy you come around and read the stuff I write.

Those are all the updates I have for you guys today. I’m excited with all these new things, hope you are too! Or if not excited, at least mildly interested. (Humor me.)

Until next time, readers!